One of my passions

I thought since this is my forum for discussing social justice, I would provide a link to my work addressing homelessness this year.

https://www.portfolio.du.edu/pc/port2?page=8&uid=18605

Tunnel of Oppression

I'm so behind in things I want to talk about!  ACK!  But anyway, Tunnel of Oppression was last Friday, and even though it pretty much felt like preaching to the choir, I really think some people's ideas and beliefs were challenged.  ASA performed our "The Movement" skit which we performed at eXpressions (something I just realized I never posted about, I fail).  

I guess I should explain the format a bit.  I think five skits were presented during the Tunnel, and after each was a debrief led by someone from the Center for Multicultural Excellence.

ASA's skit demonstrates what Asians have faced in America, who we are, and what we are going to do with the future, stressing that there is much individuality and difference under the broad umbrellas of "Asian" and "Asian American."  Afterward, Jesus from CME led the debrief.  He had all of ASA line up in front of the stage facing the audience.  He explained the concept of model minority, and he challenged the audience to explain why it is a harmful generalization.

The audience came back with a lot of responses on how it hurt other minorities, but it took some of ASA, including me, to really get them thinking about how it also negatively affects the very people it describes.  I think a lot of people's eyes were opened that day.

Kudos to the other groups who performed thought-provoking skits as well.

When choice becomes oppression, and how today I was empowered

I haven't posted anything in awhile, I'm sorry, there's so much that I want to talk about.  But today, or yesterday really, I shared my digital story I've been working on for the past 9 weeks.  I'm not sure it really needs an explanation, but basically it is the story of the evolution of my cultural identity.

Things to think about:  Sometimes, when people ask us to choose, they are oppressing us.  By sharing this, we re-empower ourselves.  Sharing my story today with my classmates, fellow Social Justice Community members, my instructors, and other important SJ and CME staff in my life made me feel better.  It was almost easy to create my story, and almost hard to share it. 

Thanks to the process, I am much more confident within my own skin, my own identity.  I am confident that someday, sharing a story like mine will no longer be necessary, because everyone will understand and accept people who share my struggle.

Today

So I guess I worried needlessly about class today.  Not that I wasn't uncomfortable, but nobody said anything to upset me or about me or anything.  Of course, I didn't contribute to the conversation at all, I'm not sure what that says.

On another note...

I sat in on a civic engagement class today while they debriefed from PHC.  It was very informative.  Most people had positive experiences, and those that didn't still learned from the event.  I don't think anyone walked away without taking something from participating in PHC.  I also heard some suggestions for improving the event next year.

And yes, some people realized that you can't go off of stereotypes when it comes to the homeless.  Hallelujah!  Yes, homeless people don't fit one mold.

Tomorrow

I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous about my public policy class tomorrow.  We'll be discussing affirmative action.  I shouldn't have to be afraid of how this is going to go.  But I honestly no longer feel that this class is a safe space for me.  I'm sure that at the very least I'm going to feel uncomfortable tomorrow regardless of how the discussion goes.  No one will have to point out that I'm the one minority in the class, the one who may have benefited the most from affirmative action as a minority and as a woman, two out of three.  Everyone's going to be thinking it.

Project Homeless Connect :)

So I've been dedicating chunks of my life to PHC for a couple of months.  Is it really only a couple of months?   Feels like a year at least.  Maybe three months?

Anyway, PHC was Friday.  I don't know if I've completely realized that it's over yet, but the facts stand.  And it was amazing.  So many people have congratulated me, and I feel like I don't really deserve that, I wasn't one of the big guns or anything.  I feel like we really did make a difference in a lot of lives though, and not just of clients.  What an eye-opener for the volunteers!

My eyes were opened too, but perhaps in a different way.  I already know so much about homelessness.  Along with my friends L. and J., we probably know more about service providers and homeless resources and homelessness in Denver than anyone else on our campus.  What I learned had to do with the injustice of the criminal system.

My client just turned 21.  They also just got out of prison, and will now be on probation for seven years.  SEVEN.  If that's not trying to ensure that they gets sent back to prison, I don't know what is.

What were they there for?  Selling drugs to help their mom pay for stuff.  Ok, drugs are bad for the community and for families and individuals, but tell me, with the systems in place in our society, what else were they supposed to do?  Now this 21-year-old has a felony on their record, and will always have to go through life as an ex-offender.  

They were so nice and interested too.  And unsurprisingly interested in civil rights.  I asked, "If you could do anything, what would you do?"  And the answer was to fight for civil rights.  There was a table registering people to vote.  We walked passed it because they said they couldn't vote.  I know that because they are a felon.  I am sure I detected disappointment and perhaps bitterness in their voice that their right to vote had been taken away.

So my client sold drugs to help their struggling family, who are now homeless by the way.  This means they have no say in decisions that affect them?

PHC Party

I've been very involved in putting on an event called Project Homeless Connect (PHC) on my campus for the past couple of months.  I was disappointed to learn that there was a Project Homeless Connect party on Thursday, the night before the event.  While I think it is great to raise awareness and get people excited for the event, I feel like whoever organized the party was more ignorant than educated in regards to homelessness.  

The party was a theme party, and apparently you had to dress "homeless" to get in.

This is why I am disappointed, and even a little outraged.  This misses the point entirely.  The great thing about PHC is that not only does it greatly benefit the individuals and families experiencing homelessness who attend, but that it gives the volunteers a chance to put a face on homelessness.  I feel that most people on my campus don't know anything about homelessness, and this PHC party proves it.  

People don't realize that most homeless people often don't fit the stereotypical shopping cart man or bag lady profile.  More than 40% of the homeless in this city have jobs.  More than 60% of the homeless are women and children.

Dressing homeless just perpetuates society's negative image of the homeless, and showcases my fellow students' ignorance.  I would like to know how those who went to the party feel about it after volunteering at PHC the next day.

Diversity Mixer

I think my first post ever mentioned the fact that I felt my school was missing something with all of its separate multicultural organizations.  Well some of them came together on Thursday night to eat, mingle, and have a good time together.  We learned about each other and I feel that all of the student alliances and their individual members recognize more strongly now the need to be interconnected and work together.  I feel like this was an important step :)

My Professor :(

So I spoke with the professor from two days ago today and I was disappointed with the results.  I approached him at the beginning of class and asked if I could speak with him after class, and he said of course.  This is how I remember our conversation after class, it's probably not verbatim.

Me:  Hi.

Prof:  Hello.

Me:  I wanted to talk to you about Tuesday's class.  When you were talking about Asian Americans and you singled me out it made me uncomfortable.

Prof:  Thank you for telling me, I appreciate it.  I apologize, and I promise it won't happen again.

That was it!  I've been agonizing over how to have this conversation for two days, and in the end it lasted 30 seconds!  He didn't ask why or anything, so I did not get the chance to explain why it made me uncomfortable.  He probably just thinks now that I didn't appreciate being singled out, when I really didn't appreciate his looking to me to confirm his stereotype of Asian American parents and students.

Now I'm not sure what to do.

Dear Roscoe, Thanks :)

Today I ran into one of my favorite professors of all time (haha all 3 quarters I've been in college).  He's the Social Justice director.  He asked me what my digital story was going to be for my social justice digital storytelling class, and I said it was going to be about my multicultural identity.  We talked about how it's something that I've struggled with and how different parts of my life have informed that struggle.

He said I was lucky to live in Hawaiʻi for half of my life because of how that affected my view of multiculturalism.

I thought about it, and he's right, although "blessed" may be a better word for it.

I was given a gift, and I have to use that gift to help other people understand, respect, appreciate, and embrace multiculturalism.

I'm not sure how to react and how to act

So my Hard Choices in Public Policy professor is a little infamous in certain circles on my campus for his controversial views on racial and cultural effects on students' abilities to be successful and efficient.  I took his class knowing this and also to the surprise of many of my friends because I thought it would be interesting and I wanted to see how his views came out in the course.  I also think it is important to have some professors who you disagree with and who challenge your thoughts or whose beliefs you challenge.  

Anyway, I'm the only student of color in the class.  This has never been the case for me before, at least not since 5th grade.  I don't think I would have cared before I got here to a school that is mostly white.  The fact that I am the only one in his class is telling.  

Anyway, he was talking today about the scholastic success of Asian Americans and how their parents push them.  Students are agreeing, then he turns to me.   He says something like, "In your experiences, does this sound familiar?"  

Way to single out the only Asian American in the class.

And the best part?  I only have one Asian parent, so I can't speak for families with 2 Asian parents.  And if I had 2, it would still be wrong for me to speak for all Asian Americans.

And I'm so taken aback that I can only agree. 

Exerpts from a reflection paper for my digital storytelling class

Since I arrived at university, so many things have focused on identity, and I have had to reexamine some of the identities I have always claimed. I have never been a strong believer in the idea of race, and I would love to see it disappear, yet my racial and ethnic identities have been a big part of me for a good deal of my life. Racism is up there on my list of causes, and I feel like sharing my personal story of an-ever-evolving and fluid concept of such identities will give me direction in a quest against racism.
When I was little I knew that my father was of Japanese descent and my mother, German. I knew that these two types of people looked very different from each other, and I think I even understood that they came from different parts of the world and that there were other people who looked like them but belonged to different groups. I remember asking how to tell the difference between Japanese and Chinese people. I may even have asked what the difference was. I remember telling my first grade class that some people did not like both parts of me when we talked about World War II.
I remember being asked once if I was “Oriental” and having to look at my mother nod and tell me to say yes. I did not really have a concept of race until I moved to Hawaiʻi in fifth grade. There, in the cultural melting pot of the world, where there is less racism in some ways and circles than anywhere else, and more in other ways, I learned to be “Asian.” I still knew I was half-white, but even there where everyone is of mixed heritage, people were still taught to embrace one racial identity. It was an easy choice. I could not pass as a white person, and in some ways, it was cooler to be Asian anyway. People respected that. Oftentimes, if you were a white person, you were just another damn “haole” trying to take over the islands.
Even when “multiracial” boxes started appearing on forms and applications, I would choose “Asian.” No one ever sat down and talked to me about what it meant to be multiracial. If there was a “check all that apply” rule, then I would go ahead and choose two boxes, or an “other” box that allowed you to write stuff in, then I would write “half-Japanese Okinawan, half-white.” Usually there was not though, and I had to choose one. In ninth grade my friends had a party at the end of the year, and most of the kids there were either white, Asian, or both. We took a picture with all the Asians. We did not take a picture with all the white kids or anything else. We were damn proud to be Asian.
I did start calling myself Gerjapokapol or Japagerpol to include all my ethnic identities, but I still represented my Asian-ness to the world. It was not until I came to university and went on the diversity retreat that I really started thinking about identifying as multiracial. In the months since then, I have come to call myself “hapa kepani” or half-Japanese in Hawaiian. I feel that this is the best representation of my cultural identity because it expresses my belonging to two separate backgrounds as well as embracing a third, the culture of the islands I have come to love so much. I also feel that the idea of a cultural identity is more acceptable to me than that of ethnic and especially racial ones.

The start of a letter

I'm taking a class on digital storytelling.  We had to write a letter in 10 minutes about what our story was going to be.  This is what I got in ten minutes:

Dear [My best friend in college],

I am hapa kepani.  You know this, but maybe you still don't understand what it means or how it defines/is defined by me.  I have always been aware of my ethnic identity, but I have come to understand it in different ways as the years pass.  When I was young, I knew I was Japanese and German, and that America had fought against them in a war and some people were still prejudiced against both parts of me.  I remember telling this to my 1st grade class in Ms. Marty's room.  

Then I found out that I was also Okinawan and Polish.  I've never had a strong connection to my Polish roots, perhaps because I had only a great-great grandmother and no one carried on any ethnic traditions from her.  My grandmother said that when her and grandpa had gotten passports, a lady had told them to just put Japanese, not Okinawan.

Stereotypes

It's interesting.  I laugh at Asian jokes and stereotypes as much as the next person, especially if it is an Asian telling them.  Is this harmful or helpful to the Asian American community?  We love making fun of ourselves or each other, but we probably also offend some of us.

RACE

Here's an interesting thought I had today.  What if we redefined the word RACE?  What if we decided to take it to mean Really About Creating Equality?  Then it would always be a positive idea.

Race

Really

About

Creating

Equality

For everyone, everytime

Hapa Kepani

I feel like I should explain the title of my blog.  Hapa kepani means half Japanese in Hawaiian, and it is my ethnic/cultural identity.  The reason I use Hawaiian words to identify myself is because I spent nearly half my life in Hawaiʻi and its culture played a huge role in shaping my identity.  As for the rest, I am half Japanese (25% Japanese, 25% Okinawan if you want to get technical, as I often do because I am proud of my Okinawan roots) and half white (mostly German with a dash of Polish).  I used to call myself Gerjapokapolaneseanish or Japagerpol, but those are both quite a mouthful and they miss the Hawaiian aspect of my identity.  Now that I go to college on the mainland, I have realized just how much my island roots mean to me.  I do not like to think in racial terms, and I like to think that I'm colorblind when it comes to seeing other people, but I also feel that my ethnic and cultural identity gives me roots.  I want to understand how other people's ethnic roots have shaped them as well.  As colorblind as we want to be, we cannot ignore the fact that these things have an impact on us, and I am proud of my culture.

Model Minority

I went on a retreat this past weekend and we discussed the idea that Asian Americans are a "model minority."  What effects does this have on the Asian community?  What happens when we cannot live up to this idea?  Can we be emotionally damaged?  I say yes.  I've been successful so far and probably done my share to perpetuate this stereotype.  High school valedictorian, full tuition academic scholarship, Dean's list....the list goes on.  I like to think that model minority hasn't played a role in my successes, in my family's successes, but other people certainly seem to think it does.  I have gotten this comment on numerous occasions: "Oh, you did well because you're Asian."  Is this fair to me?  Is this fair to my fellow Asian Americans?  Is it fair to other minorities?

Multiracial Identity?

What does it mean to be multiracial on a college campus not known for its diversity?  I am still struggling to figure that out.  Identifying as multiracial at all is something unfamiliar to many Americans.  Just look at our new President.  Barack Obama is of mixed heritage, yet we hail him as the "first black president," not the first multiracial president.  Just glance at the Wikipedia article about Obama.  Yet which would really say more about how far we've come in American society?  I think that the emphasis on "black" and "African American" is very telling.

While interracial marriages have been legal throughout the United States since the 1967 Supreme Court ruling Loving v. Virginia, the children of these marriages (like myself), have only recently really had the opportunity to embrace a multiracial identity.  I really have only started to develop and carry this identity within the past year, and I am nearly 20.  I feel almost as though I have been cheated in always being forced to identify as either "Asian/Pacific Islander" or "White/Non-Hispanic" before.  It has almost always been a "check one" situation, not a "check all that apply."  I questioned this in school, knowing I was fifty-fifty and therefore one did not apply more than the other, but what could I do?  When "multiracial" options finally started appearing more regularly, I had been forced to choose for so long that I continued to select only "Asian."

Now that I am in college, identity is very important.  It is constantly discussed both within and outside of the classroom.  So what does it mean for me to say that I am multiracial here?  It means that I am rare, almost a novelty in a sense, and that people often do not understand what I have gone through.  It means that I still struggle to find acceptance, and so I still struggle with my identity.  It means that my university, with its separate Asian, Black, Latino, and Native Student Alliances, is still missing a key issue.  It means that I have my work cut out for me.

Is it right that my identity is an alien idea to may of my fellow students?